Saturday, January 26, 2013

Angry Run.

I was driving to the farm from my week at work. I was tired and drained, it hadn't actually been a great week at all. I just wanted to get home, hug my honey, and go to bed.

Well, said honey called to say he was buying a carton of beer and the having a few drinks with neighbors. This is normal for him, but he usually waits until I get back from Perth and usually takes me with him. He called to get me to come over and I just flat said no.

He didn't understand, because he's a dude. I was angry because I just drove two flipping hours to see him. I was exhausted after fighting crowds at the grocery store for the long weekend. I was mad at myself because I had made some very bad choices with my eating... Reeses pieces anyone?

I was at my breaking point. So I fell asleep. For me, everything is much much worse when I am tired. My emotions are intensified and my rational brain switches off. I slept for maybe 40 minutes and woke up feeling okay.

I was still mad that he hadn't come home, but I couldn't control that. The one thing I could control was me. I pulled myself together and put on my running shoes. The sun was setting so I knew I had to make it a short fast run. 4ks would be adequate.

Five minutes in, I couldn't believe my pace. 10 minutes in and I was flying. 20 minutes and I was already well on my way back to the house, my pace had slowed but I was still going. I felt strong. I was running off all the anxiety and tension I had felt building. It was therapeutic in every way. It was the first time I didn't think "I hate running... Why am I doing this?.. I run so slow... People walk as fast as I run."

As my anger died away, I realized I had a rock in my shoe. Normal people would have stopped and removed the rock. No. Not me. Not today. That damn rock was not going to stop be from running the fastest 4ks of my life. Then I became angry at the rock. Really angry.

I ran my fastest paced run ever. Including when I was a teenager and an athlete. Most people probably think (i don't care what most people think) it's slow average, I usually run about 13 min/mile. This run I was hovering between 9-11 minutes a mile. I finished my run. 4kms in 26 minutes. What?! At that pace, had I kept going. I could have done a 5k in 31ish minutes. I usually run one in 40-45 minutes!

Holy crap. I was so excited. So proud. And had realized how trivial I was being earlier when I was upset.

My emotions fueled my run, but once it was over, my emotional chaos had disappeared. Talk about burning off steam. I hope I can learn to channel my emotions rather than just let them build.

Do you ever have an angry run? Do you ever get a blister because you won't stop to remove that damn rock? Because I did.

Love you all! Australia Day recap to come!



  1. proud of you babe!! you overcome that emotion and let it all out in a safe (besides the rock) way!! keep smiling, and hope the BF gets his act together haha!! xx

  2. He's gotten it together now! And don't you look gorgeous in your picture!!

  3. I love this! Must say, I've experienced this before. For some reason running until I'm about the throw up makes me feel better some days. You realize that you an run that 9 min. mile that you never thought you could which just makes me feel like you can do and overcome everything. Love you Tori :)